Nowadays ..

Nowadays , it's not too bad ?? I just sort of zone out into my own world sometimes .. I like cannot control my emotions .. Urhg .. Sometimes , I just feel so terrible .. I don't want to let my family members know .. No way .. I just don't want to let them know .. Just let them think that I'm fine .. I just have to let myself think that way .. I sometimes just wanna cry out .. I haven't been able to do it before .. I just can't .. Wth ?! Nvm .. I just hope that if I become emo , look emo , zone out .. Nobody would be able to tell .. Haix .. Now is exam period .. I shouldn't let my emotions to affect me at all .. It shouldn't .. Sometimes , I just want my sister to shut up sometimes .. She doesn't like our father .. She scolds my father sometimes to me just because she doesn't like some personalities of him . Well , actually , I think that they are similar .. Yeah ..
I wonder how I look like to my friends .. Do I look happy ?? Do I look troubled ?? Does the smiles I smile reach my eyes ?? I've got so many questions .. Why am I like that ?? If I really really try to solve my problems , will it work ?? It will help right ?? I just have to be strong now , get over my mye , then think about it !! Isn't that simple ?? No it's not .. My feelings , emotions , are affecting me .. I can't let that happen .. I'll just have to try .. Urgh ..